Ep. 34 - How to Stop Being So Harsh on Yourself

Last week, I missed my weekly episode upload and I came down pretty harshly on myself for it. Luckily, a pre-scheduled therapy session gave me a more nuanced understanding of self-compassion so I could apply the same care I show other people to myself as well.In this episode, I share my new learnings on self-compassion with you. If you want to evaluate your own level of self-compassion, you can use this widely-accepted scale:The following statements describe how you act toward yourself in difficult times. To the left of each, indicate how often you behave in the stated manner on a scale of 1 to 5.For the first set of statements, use the following scale:Almost                                                 AlmostNever                                                   Always1              2              3              4              5____ I try to be understanding and patient toward those aspects of my personality I don't like.____ When something painful happens, I try to take a balanced view of the situation.____ I try to see my failings as part of the human condition.____ When I'm going through a very hard time, I give myself the caring and tenderness I need.____ When something upsets me, I try to keep my emotions in balance.____ When I feel inadequate in some way, I try to remind myself that feelings of inadequacy are shred by most people. For the next set of items, use the following scale (notice the endpoints of the scale are reversed from those above).Almost                                                 AlmostAlways                                                Never1              2              3              4              5____ When I fail at something important to me, I become consumed by feelings of inadequecy.____ When i'm feeling down, I tend to feel like most other people are probably happier than I am.____ When I fail at something that's important to me, I tend to feel alone in my failure.____ When I'm feeling down, I tend to obsess and fixate on everything that's wrong.____ I'm disapproving and judgmental about my own flaws and inadequacies.____ I'm intolerant and impatient toward those aspects of my personality I don't like.How to score your test: Total your 12 statement scores and divide it by 12* * *For a direct link to this episode, visit saharmandi.com/episode34You can also find and subscribe to Speak Up & Lead on iTunes, Spotify, GooglePodcasts, Stitcher, and iHeartRadio.