3. WEDDINGS - The Surname

To take his name or not to take his name? That is the question. In Episode 3 of The Thing About That we discuss the complex thought processes behind "the surname decision". In a modern world where we're led to believe that everything is possible, it's only right that a modern woman can expect to side-step the custom of giving up her maiden name. But is it really that easy? A lot goes into what a would-be-bride ends up deciding to do: should she go along with tradition, make the big request of asking the husband to take her name, or come up with something new altogether? Sharing a name says something about the unit you are creating together, but as with all things in a wedding, the conversation is never simple. Take a listen and then drop us a review or give us a cheeky star-rating! Also be sure to subscribe to make sure you don't miss our upcoming conversations on Covid-affected weddings, in-laws and wedding aesthetics... Comment on our social media accounts with your questions and suggestions for future conversation: Follow us on twitter: @TTAT_Podcast Follow us on Instagram: @TTAT_Podcast Follow us on facebook: @TheThingAboutThatPodcast Series 1, Episode 3 length: 34 mins 29 seconds Option 1: Husband takes the wife's name (02:09) Hettie tells her story. Not wanting to take her fiancé's surname after marriage out of principle. We hear how Jacob decided to take her name instead and what led him to reach that decision. Modern attitudes towards giving up your surname (07:25) How are women’s attitudes shifting in regards to losing their maiden name?  What does it mean for your sense of identity to adopt a new name? When can a new name give a sense of opportunity and when can it give a sense of yielding? Broaching the subject of surname choice with your family (11:35) How to tackle a difficult conversation with your family and in-laws if you are choosing to do something that is not traditional or expected. Option 2: Combine your names to make something new (14:33) Becca explains how her and Ben reached their decision to create a new surname.  The option of amalgamating your two names to create something double-barrelled or even brand-new.  What does the surname decision mean for possible future children? The guilt of being a non-traditionalist (19:20) What does it feel like to know that you constantly put people on edge by not going along with old-fashioned ideas. Why are progressive people considered the tiring, boring ones? Option 3: Stick with convention and take your husband's name (21:52) Lucy explains the apathy around this choice that eventually leads to a more traditional decision on name-taking, taking your husband’s name just because you don’t care that much! A brief discussion around whether one should be walked down the aisle or not, and by who. Tradition vs progress and what works for you. Surnames and lineage (25:48) The surname you choose in marriage is a lifeline to your family. What does it mean, as a woman, to expect to cut your family name's line short if you get married? Option 4: Leave it to chance (27:54) Our hosts discuss occasions where people have allowed a game to decide what they end up with as a surname! Unfortunate name-combos and "Diary Corner" (28:34) Examples of unfortunate name combinations and unfortunate names. On Becca's request, Lucy shares a snippet of her teenage diaries. Thank you for listening!

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Modern life for women is better than ever! But isn't it time to unpack the stumbling blocks that remain unspoken? From marriage to the workplace and beyond. Let us be your tribe! In Series 1, our recently engaged hosts discuss the beautifully complicated journey of getting married. If you've ever interrogated tradition, juggled in-laws or struggled to navigate your own personal aesthetic (it's a lace-fringed mine-field) this is the podcast for you. Hosts Rebecca, Hettie and Lucy are here to cover all the topics that made them go “why did nobody ever tell me it would be like this!"