Lori Gottlieb: Stories From A Therapist In Therapy

“We can’t have change without loss, which is why so often people say they want change but nonetheless stay exactly the same.”
Lori Gottlieb


Let’s talk about talking to someone.
Personally, I’ve been in and out of therapy for more than two decades. Over the last couple years, I’ve been deeply immersed in a weekly therapist-led men’s group — intimate game-changing sessions that have helped me work through deep-seated stuff that lives and breathes beyond 12-step.
We’re only as sick as our secrets. The path to healing and personal growth requires openly sharing our hidden struggles. Bearing our vulnerabilities. And allowing others to identify the blind spots that elude us.
My point is that we all need help. And as today’s guest will openly admit, even therapists benefit from therapy.
A Los Angeles-based psychotherapist, journalist and author, Lori Gottlieb writes the weekly ‘Dear Therapist’ column for The Atlantic. She contributes to several prominent publications including The New York Times. And she recurs as a mental health expert on a variety of national television and radio outlets including, The Today Show, Good Morning America, The CBS Early Show, Dr. Phil, CNN, and NPR’s ‘Fresh Air.’
In addition, Lori is the author of three books: Marry Him, Stick Figure and her latest, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, a fun and highly relatable romp behind the scenes of a therapist’s world. What it’s like to be a therapist. And what it’s like to be a therapist in therapy.
A hit that spent many weeks on The New York Times bestseller list, the book was listed as People magazine’s ‘Book of the Week.’ O magazine named it one of the ‘Best Nonfiction Books of 2019.’ And it’s currently being developed into a TV series with Eva Longoria.

This is a conversation about what happens when a therapist — someone specifically trained to understand what makes people do what they do — experiences her own personal crisis.
But it’s also a broader conversation about mental well-being in general. About the benefits of therapy. And why we can all better ourselves by talking to a professional.
In addition, we discuss the psychological impact of comparing ourselves to others. Healthy and unhealthy parenting practices. Repairing ruptured relationships. And many other topics.
I should note that I did my very best to resist making this a personal therapy session (not easy!).
As a final thought: if you are struggling in the darkness, don’t wait to talk to someone. If you’re afraid to shed light on that thing — whether it be anger, shame, addiction, resentment, depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts — don’t wait to talk to someone. Don’t wait until it’s a crisis. Find the courage. Reach out. raise your hand. Help awaits you.
You can watch our entire conversation on YouTube. And the episode is of course available on

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