Imperfectly Perfect
It’s easy to go hard on oneself. Personally, I’m world-class at it. I have big dreams, like too-big-for-my-own-good type of dreams – and deep down inside I know with unshakable confidence that anything I set my mind to really is possible. As romantic or glories as that might sound, it’s quite the trick of the mind. You see… Sometimes I find myself in states like guilt, self-disappointment, jealousy or even hate. So I wonder “When anything is possible… I mean, with ALL possibilities available, why in goodness greatness great balls of fire would I choose those shitty options? At all? Even for just a split second? I ask myself, why does my existence consist of this shitty time – and to top it off – for no reason at all?! Someone, TELL ME!! I’m being treated unfairly! Why?!” In those moments. When experiencing real struggle, I have a strange, but oh so universal tendency to add some proper beating-myself-up-for-it. And being the Mr.Fix guy I am, I really fast start thinking that I need to fix who I am. I start believing I desperately need to figure out how to make myself better/different than what I currently am, cuz this shit definitely ain’t working! I even tend to take it personally. “MY life sucks, I’m the victim of shiftiness, this must mean I’m not doing this life the right way, not good enough. I’m not worthy, hence; I need to fix. I need to figure out a way to become worthy and good enough.” Out of nowhere, I’ve created a monster. I find myself in a check—mate situation. I’ve created a problem I can’t solve. A perfect way to add more frustration to my frustration. Spread some overthinking on that worry, would’ya? This activity of desperately trying to manage my feelings is actually one of the crappiest ways to get back to a clear mind. But then and there it looks like the best idea ever. It seems like the only option. It looks real to me that it’s my job to change how I feel. But finding myself feeling shitty only means one thing; at that moment, I’m apparently generating a shitty experience for myself. There’s nothing to do about it. Let me explain… Believing there’s a certain application that will effectively result in a positive experience, is a misunderstanding of how our mind actually works in reality… There’s good and bad news. First, the bad; No application can ever make you happy. Period. There’s no real correlation between any application and happiness. If there was an absolute. A Principle. A law of nature saying you can do a certain thing, which will directly result in happiness, no one would ever do anything else. Ever. However, we believe it to be so. That’s part of life. We look around us, forgetting that we’re living in a thought-generated experience. So we point our fingers, attributing our feelings to something out there. This illusion of thought. This mirage of life, is extremely useful to understand a little bit about, as just a basic understanding of how our minds create an experience for us, gives us a more accurate model to work with in our daily lives. It gives us an updated map of how psychology works, so we don’t have to jump into years of depression simply cause we felt depressed for a while. and that’s the good news, Humans. We are life. We are limitless forces of nature. We are naturally built to thrive. From birth, you have happiness in you. The search is over. You had it all along. Remember? We have unlimited potential deep in us. At all times. Our ‘clean slate’- is pure energy, pure potential, formlessness – forming in every moment. Then we have the ability to actually be aware of it. We have the ability to know that we exist. To observe what’s happening. Consciousness is a wonderful gift letting us be aware of whatever’s going on in our human experience at any given moment. Realising on a fundamental level that we’re creating our experience f...