Ep. 35 How to Help Others While You’re Working On Yourself

There’s a uniting “common denominator” within the human experience that binds us all…even in 2020. This shared experience is so universal that literally every human on the planet can relate to it….   The junk drawer.   We’ve all got a junk drawer in our house and it’s always a freaking mess. You know that I’m talking about… That hidden catch-all space that has your candles, car keys, sewing needles, and your cat’s flea treatment medicine all shoved in.  Now, it’s not like the rest of your house is that trash...  You’ve got your stuff together.  But this one drawer? Well, it’s your one place of special messy that you just wouldn’t be human if you didn’t have. And as coaches, we are the same way. We’ve all got a “junk drawer” inside us that we will always be working on, always organizing, and figuring out. Many emerging coaches feel this somehow disqualifies or discredits their ability to help other people transforming lives. To which I squeal, “Sir/Sister, Please!”  😒  Nobody does this work from a place of perfection. You just have to learn how to not let our junk drawer spillover and mess up the rest of your coaching practice. So to answer the question, “How do I help others while I’m still working on healing myself?” I went LIVE in our free group yesterday with a hot A to this Q, and I wanted to share it with you too in case you missed it! The bottom line take-away from this Live is this: Every coach is in the process of healing, it’s how you are holding space for yourself and your own process that determines if you’re able to be an effective coach or a particular topic or not. No matter where you fall on this spectrum of allowing the “junk drawer” of your personal experiences, here are some do’s and don’t that will help you navigate this important issue.   Listen to the episode now! 0:30 Heather shares what the podcast episode is all about and why she loves this topic. 1:28 Where this question came from- Heather gives you an exclusive invitation to the Atmana Coach Collective Facebook Group so if you are not yet in the group, it’s time to join and get in an amazing, empowering, and fun group! 3:20 The common denominators that bind and bring us all together. 4:16 The concept of the “Junk Drawer”, and how professional helpers, healers, and coaches can relate to this. 7:23 Tip #1 - Go easy on YOURSELF! 8:28 What the real issue is in the process of healing and growing, and how you hold the space in the work you need to do. 9:20 DON’T try to coach people through issues that you yourself are still feeling raw, ungrounded, and extremely uneasy. 11:04 DON’T “I use to…., Now I’m ……” your clients or audience. 13:15 DON’T process your stuff out loud and all over social media. 15:11 DON'T rush your own healing process. 16:29 DO learn how to bracket. What is bracketing and how it works? 18:20 DO understand your soft spots. 18:44 DO share your experiences and struggles honestly. 19:13 DO take care of your own junk drawer. 19:37 DO take the pressure off yourself. 21:38 Heather sums up and invites you to ask yourself if you experience the Do’s and Don'ts in the podcast. Soul Stirring Quotes: “Every human being on Earth who has ever come before you and aspired to do what you are doing has had issues, too, and yet they persevere with the work.” “Go easy on yourself and realize that you will always be a work in progress - it is not a disqualifier.” “We have to figure out how we hold space to ourselves, give ourselves compassion, allow ourselves our own humanness, and do it in a professional way that is reflective of our heart’s intention.” “Every coach is in the process of healing and growing.” “Give yourself your own space to process what you need to.” “Confide in people you trust, distill your problem down, and do your inner work towards the victory that you are after.” “It’s okay to not have every single aspect of your life figured out. Give yourself permission to be human.” “As a healer, you are a mirror. You will call to yourself clients that trigger you.” “Your clients want to know that you are a human.” “You are not responsible for fixing your client’s entire life. You need to operate within your zone of genius and that is what your clients are going to be coming to you for.” “Take the pressure off and just know that you are helping your clients achieve their goals.”   Links Mentioned: Atmana Intuitive Coach Collective Facebook Group:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/atmanaintuitivecoachcollective/