Validating Experience

Having our experience validated as children by the important adults in our lives is an important part of self-making and the development of self-worth and self-trust.  Our ability as parent's to validate our children's experience is so important that chronic in-validation is thought to be a contributor to mental illness. 

In today's episode we talk about what it means to validate experience, and how it contributes to our children's developing selfhood.  We'll talk about how validation contributes to a child's belief that their feelings and emotions are valid and worth paying attention to. 

We'll also explore the near-enemy of validation that construes validation with condoning negative (mis)perceptions or destructive behavior - which, beyond being unhelpful, can help to reinforce a victim mentality. 

Learning this distinction can be powerful. 

This is one in a two-part series on validation and in-validation, and how these experiences shape our experience of self. 

You'll find the shownotes here

Om Podcasten

Parenting can lead us to a threshold in life we hadn’t known before. We're bringing into the parenting dynamic with our kids the momentum of our previous experiences - our resources and resilience, as well as our disconnection and disembodiment due to trauma (individual, familial, cultural, historical & intergenerational).  Beyond the challenges we face to parent in ways we may not have been parented, there is a deep love for our children that wants to be expressed and known in presence with them. There's also a yearning in us to experience that deep love ourselves; to feel our power and to live authentically, just as we yearn to protect that for our kids, too. The urgency to heal what's still alive within us might come up with a force because of them, and yet it's ultimately a reclamation of our life force, vitality, joy, connection and creativity we're most hungry for. It’s sometimes a desire bold as love that fuels our courage to meet what we fear to face.