#75 You Ask, We Answer # 3

We have decided that we’re going to do a ‘You Ask, We Answer’ every month. Last Wednesday of the month - tune in and we’ll be answering your questions. In detail! With chutzpah! So, keep sending us your questions, your problems and your issues related to wedding planning. We read everything, we answer every email, and we might read your email on the air (don’t worry, we’ll ask permission!) so that your questions, and our answers, can help countless other people in the midst of wedding planning. It’s a win win, y’all! Big Takeaways Quick reminder - don’t forget to hashtag #planthatwedding when you post about our podcast or your wedding planning. We’re tagging everything with #planthatwedding - across all social media. And if you send a little video of you listening to the podcast (love our opening song? Thanks!) - you will MAKE OUR DAY. 1 Email - “Unkind Mother of the Bride” Ask: This listener, Cheyenne, wrote in about her mom. “She’s always been an unhappy person, but it wasn’t until I was an adult that I realized how narcissistic and downright mean she is.” This heartbreaking email outlines the bride’s tense relationship with her mom, and how it’s affecting her wedding planning. This bride has distanced herself during the planning process, but is very worried that her mom’s involvement and presence will ruin the wedding day, and taint her experience of what is supposed to be a joyful day. She wants to know if she should cut her mom out of the wedding completely. Answer: Note that we are not therapists. But we do have some experience with all of this. Repeat this; “I can no longer wish my mother to be who I want her to be.” Release your expectations of your mother - she will never meet them. Take her for who she is, or don’t. Don’t put any weight on your mom’s reactions any more. 2 Email - “Newbie Wedding Planner or Experienced-and -Maybe-Over-priced-Planner” Ask: This bride wants to know if she should hire a planner that is new to the industry and offering a great deal for full planning, or an experienced planner with fairly high prices. Answer: There are pros and cons, of course. In our long answer, we emphasize the importance of “month of” planning, as we have often on the podcast. Things to think about: With the established planner, make sure that you know -in writing - exactly who will be there managing the wedding day. (It could be an associate, and you should know if this is a possibility.) With the ‘newbie’ - get references of previous brides she has worked with, even if it’s only 2. Also with the newbie - check out her day-of templates. Make sure her contract is long and legit. A good vibe between you and your wedding planner is VERY important. You have to go with your gut a little. If you feel like the newbie will: have your back aim to please be very responsive stand her ground (advocate for you, be a strong liaison between you and vendors, make quick, SMART decisions day of, be assertive...) ....then we think you should hire her. There's no guarantee the experienced planner will be better just because she's done more weddings. We were all newbies at some point! Links we referenced www.livingaf.com The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez. Edited by Veronica Gruba Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. Easy to get in touch with. Email us at [email protected] or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode On Patreon. Become a member and with as little as $6.99 per month, you get 2 exclusive, ad-free episodes, + Zoom Happy Hour with Michelle and fellow patrons every month! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices