#66 Sex Therapy with Dr. Magdalena Fosse

Ooh Lala...We are heading into uncharted wedding podcast territory with this one and we are SO EXCITED! In this episode, we talk about sex, baby! A healthy sex life is very important to a healthy relationship. Dr. Magdalena Fosse helps us define ‘healthy’, plus, she talks a lot about pleasure. This is part 2 of 2 with Dr. Magdalena Fosse. In Part 1 (Ep #65), we discussed relationships, communication, and perspective. So, let’s do this! Big Takeaways Shift your expectations for a more satisfying Sex Life. This starts with education! Learn about your own body, find out what feels good, talk about what you like and what intrigues you! Also, remember that our bodies change as we age. Our expectations should evolve too. If you are a woman (we think most of our listeners are) and you have thought to yourself, “Wow, I can’t seem to have an orgasm when we have regular old P-in-th-V sex! Something must be wrong with me.” - Magdalena talks about that old Freudian legacy - it’s a myth! Most women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm, and that’s just a fact. See? The more you know, the more accurate your expectations, and the more satisfying your sex life. Boom. In America, there is a stigma of shame around talking about sex. People talk about sex all the time, but it’s either in a joking way, or a whispered way. Magdalena encourages us to ignore that stupid stigma! Shame is when we feel like something is wrong with us, at our core. And there isn’t anything wrong with sex, if you aren’t hurting anyone. With a sexual partner that you want to have a long and fruitful sex life with, positive feedback is essential. Tell them what to do, rather than what not to do. Delivery matters! You can be encouraging and specific, and you can motivate your partner to keep doing what feels great. Your brain is your biggest sexual organ. Anticipation is sexy! Looking forward to something is part of the fun! There is a direct line between desire and arousal. A man tends to feel desirable when he is physically, noticeably aroused. But seeing an aroused man doesn’t just automatically turn most women on. What does turn most women on - what arouses most women - is the feeling of being desired. Feel desirable, get aroused. Part of the foreplay is mental! Break out of the routine with your partner - boring efficiency is a killer of sex lives. You have to put effort into your sex like - it shouldn't feel obligatory, it should feel exciting. It won’t always feel exciting, but if you take more initiative and plant seeds of anticipation with your partner, your sex life will be more exciting, more often. Links we referenced Dr. Magdalena Fosse: Clinical Psychologist, Certified Sex Therapist and Couple’s Counselor: www.drfosse.com PCFINE, Psychodynamic Couple and Family Institute of New England: https://www.pcfine.org SSTAR to find a qualified Sex Therapist: http://www.sstar.org The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez. Edited by Veronica Gruba Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. Easy to get in touch with. Email us at [email protected] or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode On Patreon. Become a member and with as little as $6.99 per month, you get 2 exclusive, ad-free episodes, + Zoom Happy Hour with Michelle and fellow patrons every month! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices