712: The Like Switch: Dr. Jack Schafer

Our guest is former FBI Special Agent, author, and professor – Dr. Jack Schafer. In the past, Dr. Schafer has developed spy recruitment techniques, interviewed terrorists, and trained agents in the art of interrogation and persuasion. Today, he shares strategies, techniques, and tools you can employ to get people to like you for a minute or a lifetime. CHEAT SHEETWhat is the friendship formula and how does it increase other people’s ability to like you?What are three “friend signals” you can practice to project likeability?What signals can you look for to know whether or not good rapport has been established?What is a “curiosity hook,” and how can you use it to attract others with common interests?If the golden rule of friendship is to make people feel good about themselves, how do you go about doing that?How do you use empathic statements to listen more, talk less, and still gain interest in the conversation?Why learning the C.A.R.E acronym is important to ensure you are maintaining focus on others – and not yourself. This episode is full of tools for becoming a more likable person, and it’s important to remember the words of Dr. Schafer when applying them in our daily lives: “No one tool works for all circumstances, but for all circumstances, there is a tool that works. And it’s the time and circumstance that determine what tool to use.” Talkspace has over 2,000 licensed therapists who are experienced in addressing life challenges we all face. To match with a perfect therapist for a fraction of the price of traditional therapy, go to talkspace.com/charm, and use the code CHARM to get $45 off your first month and show your support for this show. Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free — that’s over three times as long as the standard trial DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design — even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. ResourcesThe Like Switch by Dr. Jack SchaferDr. Schafer’s Blog in Psychology Today Keep up with The Art of CharmThe Art of Charm ChallengeThe Art of Charm InsidersThe Art of Charm BootcampBest of The Art of Charm PodcastThe Art of Charm ToolboxOn social media: Instagram | Twitter | FacebookEnjoying what you hear? Your reviews are essential to us and for those who haven’t discovered The Art of Charm podcast yet. Click here to share your Art of Charm experience. We tried something new with show notes this week. Did you notice the condensed format? Let us know what you think here.