Ep. 35: Acting Out as a Teen - What Might be Going on Underneath a Teenagers's Bad Behaviour

Today's guest on the Teenage Kicks podcast is Hazel Davis, a journalist from West Yorkshire in the UK. Hazel opens up to Helen Wills about how she 'acted out' in her teenage years as a response to being bullied at school. She describes herself as "that child" who everyone avoided. Her way of coping with being unwanted was to become non-conformist. She says she was promiscuous, aggressive and a terrible liar. She says "If people weren't going to like me, fancy me... I was going to make sure that at least they noticed me." Hazel now describes herself as one of the most laid-back and well-balanced people she knows. She tells how she made that change. We talk about: * How we are never perceived by others the way we think we are - listen to Hazel's story of befriending one of her bullies on Facebook to find out more. * That what people put out into the world isn't always who they really are, and how there's always something else going on beneath the surface. * That no one has their shit together - even the adults! So teenagers need to cut themselves some slack if they're comparing themselves to others. * Education isn't over when you leave school. Sometimes the most valuable lessons are learned later in life - have a listen to Hazel's incredible tale of what happened after she left school (I actually think she should write a novel based on it!) * Sometimes being a bit different is the best thing you can be. It might be the reason you eventually land that amazing job, figure out your purpose, or meet the love of your life. * Why we shouldn't mistake sex for love/respect/validation. Think about how it's making you feel, and only do it if it's making you feel good. Hazel also has a lovely message at the end of the episode for teenagers who might be feeling like they don't fit in (yet). Listen to the end to hear her inspiring advice. Books that might help a teen figure out who they are (affiliate links) * How to Make Anyone Like You [https://amzn.to/3tgP56E] - Leil Lowndes * Counselling for Toads [https://amzn.to/2PN6V3D] - Robert de Board * Families and How to Survive Them [https://amzn.to/3ef07Fe] - John Cleese and Dr. Robin Skinner Who is Hazel Davis?  Hazel Davis writes for a range of publications, including the Guardian, Daily Telegraph, Times and FT, on a variety of subjects from small business to music. She also works as a media consultant and trainer and runs Muse Flash [https://www.museflash.academy/], a media training and copywriting agency. She has two children, plays trumpet, violin and sings. She recently passed her grade 8 singing and she's very proud of herself 🥰 You can connect with Hazel below: * Follow Hazel on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/hazeldavisyes/] * Hazel on Twitter [https://twitter.com/hazedavis] * Muse Flash Media on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/museflashmedia/] * Muse Flash Facebook page [https://www.facebook.com/MuseFlashCourses/] More teenage parenting tips from Helen Wills: There are lots more episodes of the Teenage Kicks podcast. You can email me on [email protected]. I've also got some posts on the blog that might help parents with other teenage parenting dilemmas, so do pop over to Actually Mummy [https://www.actuallymummy.co.uk/] if you fancy a read. Thank you so much for listening!