Ep. 34: Stop seeking validation from others! How to help your teen tackle low-self esteem.

My guest in this episode knows a thing or two about low self-esteem! Raised in a strict Irish Catholic family, Amanda Ryall never felt like she fitted in at home or at school. Helen Wills talks to Amanda about how he struggled with academic work and thought of herself as 'stupid,' eventually seeking validation in the views of others for her self-worth. Amanda eventually realised that the needy behaviour she used to get attention as as child didn't work in the adult world, and set about changing her outlook on life and her own happiness. We talk about: * How we unknowingly take on our family narrative, and how it impacts our thought processes. * Labelling, and the self-perpetuating nature of our own perceptions. * The conflict between academic pressure and being an individual that makes school expectations so difficult to navigate whilst holding onto who you are. * Showing up in the world and making your actions count in other ways than through academic merit. * How for some jobs the best person isn't necessarily the one with the most academic qualifications. Resilience, strength and perseverance count for just as much. * How freeing it is to know that there isn't just one path to success. * How spending time on yourself isn't selfish, and how freeing ourselves from the pressure of the "to-do" list helps us control stress and improve self-esteem. * The value of unconnected timea alone, and how to listen to your inner (real) voice instead of your ego's expectations of you. * How to fill your own void rather than waiting for someone/something else to do it for you. Who is Amanda Ryall?  Amanda is the best-selling author of I Choose Me [https://amzn.to/2R0fJU4], and creator of the Mood Munchers [https://amzn.to/3xyeKeH] book series for children. She was nominated for Global Woman of the Year 2020, and is now the host of her own podcast You Choose You Now [https://open.spotify.com/show/2uE18lgrGbLl2maGsAySpw], where she talks about letting go of negative self-talk, instead choosing who you are really meant to be. You can connect with Amanda below: * Amandahryall.com [https://amandahryall.com/] * You Choose You Now Facebook group [https://www.facebook.com/groups/865514500895307] * Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/amandaryallhill/] More teenage parenting tips from Helen Wills: There are lots more episodes of the Teenage Kicks podcast. You can email me on [email protected]. I've also got some posts on the blog that might help parents with other teenage parenting dilemmas, so do pop over to Actually Mummy [https://www.actuallymummy.co.uk/] if you fancy a read. Thank you so much for listening! Subscribe [https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/teenage-kicks-podcast/id1501488455] now to the Teenage Kicks podcast to hear all my new episodes. I'll be talking to some fabulous guests about difficult things that happened to them as teenagers - including losing a parent [https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/how-do-you-cope-loss-parent-when-youre-teenager-ryan/id1501488455?i=1000495564421], becoming a young carer [https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/danielle-on-being-a-young-carer-for-her-alcoholic-mum/id1501488455?i=1000468538022], and being hospitalised with mental health problems [https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/emma-bradley-on-being-hospitalised-mental-health-problems/id1501488455?i=1000470008123] - and how they overcame things to move on