Emotional Intelligence with Megan De La Concha

Throughout this last year, we have all dealt with various emotions and have all likely managed them differently. Through your ups and downs, are you the type of person to suppress how you feel? I, myself, have tended to be a people-pleaser in the past, which can cause us to mask how we are truly feeling. But what is your truth? Our guest today shares her absolutely amazing story and how she has built up her Emotional Intelligence. Her revolutionary method is so simple and easy to start implementing right now to get us all on the path towards good mental well being.   Today’s guest is THE Megan De La Concha! Megan is a women’s empowerment and confidence coach. She serves women in all communities by empowering their lives with unstoppable confidence, unshakable resilience, and transformation through faith. Megan is the founder and CEO of Megan De La Concha, LLC. She is the host of the international podcast “Pep Talks with Megan De La Concha” and has dedicated her life to guiding women in breaking free of toxic cycles and into healing for a fully empowered and unstoppable life. Megan also offers one-on-one coaching, group coaching, and private masterclasses.   Her story is immensely powerful and she is the perfect guest for the My Divine Life Podcast. Because here at the My Divine Life Podcast, we empower ourselves with enough courage to divinely design every aspect of our lives the way God purposed it to be. And through her journey, that is exactly what Megan is doing.   Show Notes: [4:10] - Welcome to the podcast, Megan! Megan begins sharing her story and journey. [4:56] - Megan admits she had a pretty normal childhood and was not the rebellious type. [5:42] - When she was in her twenties, she became very insecure and felt that something wasn’t right. She became needy and was not trustworthy. [6:38] - At the age of 22, Megan found herself in a relationship that she thought was a dream come true, but it wound up being incredibly abusive. [7:27] - At 29, she was able to get away from this toxic relationship with her son. She realized she had completely lost herself and her voice. [8:40] - Megan’s relationship with a narcissist made her feel like she couldn’t even trust or believe herself. [10:08] - While in the thick of it, Megan had no idea what kind of relationship she was in. She admits that she was high all the time because that was the only way she knew how to cope with the abuse. [11:11] - Megan admits that she didn’t think anyone would believe her if she told them because her abusive partner was very believable and convincing that everything was fine. She worked hard to hide the problem from others and then worked even harder to believe her own made-up stories as well. [12:16] - Megan moved in with her parents and started therapy and working from home. [13:04] - After deciding that she would not give in and be bitter forever, Megan enrolled in college to get her Master’s degree and wound up getting three degrees. [13:42] - Due to Covid-19, Megan decided to leave her job in healthcare to work from home as an entrepreneur. [16:14] - Through therapy and looking back now, Megan realized that her insecurity and anxiety came from her upbringing. Her father had debilitating anxiety without knowing what it was. [18:40] - Megan began to feel like she wasn’t good enough because of the way her father dealt with his anxiety and this affected her in a big way in her early twenties. [19:37] - Megan put her identity into her relationships with men which made her a very vulnerable person for an abusive relationship. [21:16] - Even after leaving her abusive relationship, Megan put herself into another relationship that she still put her identity into fully. [25:13] - Emotional Intelligence is a skill that you build and practice. It is not something you are born with. It is something you have to take action with every single day. [26:21] - Megan was on medication for two years while she worked on learning other strategies to help manage her anxiety. Through that time, she learned other ways to help and is no longer taking medication. [27:16] - Emotional Intelligence has been the biggest game-changer for Megan. In a nutshell, Emotional Intelligence is the awareness that emotions can drive and impact behavior and actions. [29:02] - Jameelah and Megan discuss medication and its place for some people on their mental wellness journey. Megan had a plan with her doctor. [30:58] - Medication, in the beginning, allowed Megan to feel normal and take the time to learn how to regulate her emotions. [32:19] - Through taking medication, Megan was finally able to speak to her husband and was able to discover her triggers. She was then able to recognize the shift she makes when she’s triggered. [34:47] - Emotional Intelligence is necessary for managing emotions and it is crucial to your mental well being. It also helps you build boundaries. [35:49] - Emotional Intelligence also allows you to recognize your values and trust your intuition. [36:39] - The key to communication is Emotional Intelligence. You need to be able to name your emotions and communicate what you are feeling. And communication is key to a strong relationship. [38:57] - When you are aware of emotions and able to communicate your feelings, Emotional Intelligence also allows you to project positive emotions into a negative space. [39:47] - Emotional Intelligence also boosts resilience which is really important at the moment as we still cope with the effects of Covid-19 and other recent roadblocks. [41:12] - This is all about telling the truth. It is important to tell the truth to yourself and others. Communicate the truth and be clear about it. [44:07] - If we all took 100% accountability with speaking truth, the world would be a much better place. But we are all sucked into pleasing people. [45:22] - Megan describes an emotional regulation strategy with an example on reframing your mind and addressing the problem. [47:32] - The RAD method is something that Megan has developed for herself and her clients. This is an acceptance-based coping method which Megan describes with examples. [48:52] - Megan does not like to label emotions as either good or bad. Every emotion is necessary and deserves to be felt. [49:51] - In the RAD method, R stands for Recognize. This is the step in which you recognize your shifts, triggers, and understand the emotion you are experiencing. [50:30] - A stands for Acknowledge, Accept, and Assess. This is the powerhouse of the strategy. This allows you to explore the emotion. Megan gives examples and gives an actionable visual step to take in order to acknowledge, accept, and assess. [52:33] - D stands for Dismantle. When you dismantle, this is when you are able to make the choice of your emotion and reaction. What is the root of the problem? [53:37] - While dealing with a stressor and not naming the emotion and accepting it, external factors can cause extreme reactions even though they are not the root cause of the emotion. [54:12] - During the Dismantle step, this is where you decide how long the emotion gets to live. You are entitled to feel the way you feel. How long do you want to feel this way before moving on?  [56:00] - When you are able to implement this emotional regulation strategy, you are building up your Emotional Intelligence. [57:02] - It is okay to be angry for a while. Sometimes it feels good to be mad. You have every right to feel angry. But you shouldn’t react to other people in a negative way. [59:39] - Jameelah is working hard to make sure her kids are already building their Emotional Intelligence. In generations prior to now, we have not always been taught this. [61:10] - It is okay to take a minute to acknowledge your feelings, because suppressing emotions will cause more anxiety. Just by bringing awareness to your feelings, it already shortens the life of the emotion. [64:47] - Jameelah asks Megan to “state her CASE,” where Megan shares her own outline to Jameelah’s CASE method. Links and Resources: Listen on Apple Podcasts Listen on Spotify Listen on Libsyn Listen on Podnews Jameelah Davis on Instagram Megan De La Concha Website PeP. Talks with Megan De La Concha Podcast Megan De La Concha on Instagram

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The goal of the My Divine Life Podcast is to create a community of women empowered with enough courage to purpose-fully design the lives they love. Women who are choosing courage over comfort by facing their fears and limitations and overcoming them by Divinely Designing their life by using Jameelah Davis’ own life design method: THE CASE METHOD. The CASE method is a thoughtfully and skillfully designed framework that provides a road map for individuals to Design the Life They Love. The CASE method consists of 4 Life design steps. These life design steps provide a holistic approach to honestly assessing your personal challenges and forging the tools you need to redirect your focus and change the course of your life. The CASE method is transformational. TRANSFORM YOUR PERSPECTIVE TRANSFORM YOUR SPACE TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE!