#239: Healing Through Infidelity with Rainier Wylde & Kristi Born
Themes: Relationships, Transformation, Acceptance, Infidelity, Authenticity, Codependency Summary: In this heartfelt episode, I sit down with power couple Rainier Wylde and Kristi Born as they share the intimate details of how their relationship has evolved through infidelity. We discuss relational pain as a potent catalyst for transformation, the beauty in being honest with ourselves and our partner, and viewing ruptures as an invitation to truth. About Rainier & Kristi: Rainier Wylde is an author, teacher, and speaker. He has embraced life for all it is, celebrating its highs and learning from its lows. Rainier has managed a Fortune 500 company and built businesses; he has also elegantly blown them up, burned them down, and started over from scratch. Studying with Zen masters and Sufi mystics, Rainier founded and participated in neo-monastic communities for many years, becoming a spiritual director to both individuals and groups. Through the various positions he has held, Rainier discovered that life must be claimed to hold any worth. His work is to inspire others to live, fully and deeply, in the here and now. Kristi Born is a marriage and family therapist, relationship coach and teacher. She has worked with diverse populations and a wide variety of age groups. As a graduate school professor and popular educator, Kristi thrills in bringing people together to discuss topics that unleash their power and minimize their shame. Kristi specializes in the art of couple’s therapy and relationship healing. Through this work, she helps couples create their own designer relationships; conscious and wholehearted partnerships. She finds joy in partnering with Rainier Wylde to use their personal relational journey to help any and every person accept and step into their own power, telling a beautiful story of their own. Together they host the podcast Love Like Hell, exploring the modern landscape of intimacy and union. Discover: Love and relational pain as a potent catalyst for transformation Why we sometimes hide our past from our current partners Why we often jump into relationships too fast The beauty of being honest with ourselves and our partner and where to begin when you have a history of tiptoeing around the truth Viewing ruptures in relationship as an invitation to truth and an opportunity really see and understand each other The importance of holding onto yourself and your identity while in relationship The impact of relationship transformation on kids and what they can learn from seeing a marriage with a foundation of truth 00:00 Intro 03:28 Entering into relationships unconsciously 05:00 When dysfunction is normalized 08:16 Love as a catalyst for transformation 14:23 Fear of knowing your partner’s past 20:45 Why we often jump from relationship to relationship 23:36 Liberation through truth 28:38 Talking about things as they arise vs. burying them 30:10 Ruptures are an opportunity 40:04 How did the community react to the truth? 46:31 Wanting the best for your partner 49:57 Relationships are not risk-free 58:50 Impact of relationship transformation on kids Links: Instagram | @rainierwylde & @kristimarieborn Podcast | Love Like Hell Book | As You Are: Meditations on Self and Other Check out my first episode with Rainier | The Complexities of Being Alive with Rainier Wylde Sponsors: Open | Use code CREATETHELOVE for 30 days free at withopen.com/createthelove Cozy Earth | Use code GROVES for 40% off sitewide at cozyearth.com Cured Nutrition | Use code CREATETHELOVE for 20% all products at curednutrition.com/createthelove Organifi | Use code CREATETHELOVE for 20% off all products at organifi.com/createthelove Create the Love Cards | Use code CTLCARDS15 for 15% off at createthelove.com/cards See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices