57 Help for toxic relationships with Dr Rhoberta Shaler

An empowering discussion with Dr Rhoberta Shaler, the relationship help expert. She helps people to recognize and recover from the toxic relationships that can make us crazy! We talk about: • How to define a toxic relationship • The pressure that gets put on relationships • What Rhoberta means by a hijackal in a relationship • How a hijackal looks for power, status and control • How to identify a hijackal • All or nothing thinking and how insidious that is • What to do if you find that’s the kind of relationship you have • How to recognize and deal with gaslighting in a relationship • Resisting the temptation to think we can nurture the hijackal out of their behaviour • Rhoberta’s ABB formula – Always believe the behaviour • Relationship breakdown in midlife – often the behaviour becomes more evident without other variable in the home • We deserve to have relationships with equality, reciprocity and mutuality bringing true intimacy • You don’t need approval from someone you don’t approve of – Rachel’s big aha moment • Ending the justification of bad behaviour and making different choices • Taking off the rose coloured glasses and seeing red flags • Having to cut people out of your life if necessary or at least distance yourself from them • Strategies for dealing with toxic relationships • Identifying this behaviour in public life too And more!   Find out more about Roberta: Rhoberta’s website Podcasts/ Videos Twitter, Facebook, Youtube, Pinterest and Instagram Book mentioned in the podcast: Kaizen for Couples If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, share it and leave a review on iTunes or wherever you’re listening. Find out how to leave a review here: bit.ly/leavepodcastreview You can find out more information and get the show notes to every episode at magnificentmidlife.com. That’s also where you’ll find strategies, support and resources to help make your midlife magnificent. There’s a midlife wellness program, courses, midlife mentoring to help make the most of your next chapter and our online Members Club. If not now, when?

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Midlife isn’t the end of meaningful life, just the end of the first half rehearsal. Listen, laugh and be inspired as Rachel Lankester, author, mentor and founder of Magnificent Midlife, interviews women in midlife and beyond living authentic, empowered lives, not disappearing into obscurity. From round the world yachtswomen to 60 year old pole dancers, from palliative care doctors to sustainable food evangelists, this podcast explores the myriad things older women get up to and the issues we face. We challenge the status quo and bash those negative stereotypes about being an older woman. Need some inspiration about what’s possible for you when you're over 40, over 50 or beyond? These women will show you anything is. Need help overcoming your own limiting beliefs about getting older or struggles with menopause? Learn from women who’ve experienced the same but found ways to thrive and become who they were always meant to be. Learn their life-hacks and how they do what they do. This podcast is all about celebrating women in midlife and beyond. We’re not over the hill or on a downward slope. We get better with age not worse. We talk all things midlife, about issues that matter, and share fabulous stories of magnificent women doing very cool stuff. Now's our time! Find out more at magnificentmidlife.com.