021: Intimate Partner Violence - An African Man's Story of Abuse W/ Anonymous aka Olufemi (Part 2)

Today we will be talking about intimate partner violence, which is a very important topic of discussion in the African community. Through the years, abuse has been somewhat normalized in relationships and in our community. There have been many examples of abuse that have led to a loss of life. Some 1.2 million women and 700,000 men experience domestic violence each year, according to the Office for National Statistics.  According to a study, Africa has some of the highest prevalence rates of intimate partner violence in the whole world. Today I will be talking to an old friend who has chosen to be anonymous and will go by the name Olufemi - Femi for short. He chose to become anonymous because there are children involved.  [00:01 – 09:45] After The Violence Femi is Hospitalized He goes to court for a protective order Looking back at events that took place [09:45 - 30:54] The Process of Divorce The court hearings for protection order What led to divorce Femi's then-wife abandons the kids They separate for one year Femi delays in filing for divorce [30:54 – 1:05:2] The Adultery Part & The Community Response Femi shares the story of adultery How the community reacted The advice from friends How the church reacted [1:05:2 – 1:15:55] Lessons & Closing Remarks Lessons He Learnt What men must know about intimate partner violence Closing Remarks  Tweetable Quotes: “If someone is not willing to change, no amount of good knowledge can help such a person.” – Olufemi “There is this ideology in Africa that men don't show emotions - that is WRONG! Men have emotions and they need to show it when they are hurt” – Anyoh Fombad "It is OK for men to be vulnerable. If you need to cry, then cry!" - Anonymous (Olufemi) “We always create this ideology of who we want people to be that we get blindsided and refuse to accept people for who they really are even when they're showing it to our face.” – Anyoh Fombad LEAVE A REVIEW and tell us what you think about the episode so we can continue putting out the best content just for you! You can connect with us on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Twitter, or send us an email at [email protected]. Check out our website www.livingafricanpodcast.com for more resources and to learn more. You can connect with Anyoh on Facebook (@anyohf), Instagram (@anyohfombad), and Twitter (@anyohfombad).

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Living African is a podcast that sparks hard conversations that challenge questionable cultural and societal norms, which threaten the wellbeing of the African community. The host, Anyoh Fombad, features various African guests who share their stories from heart-wrenching to exciting experiences growing up in Africa and the diaspora. By normalizing these open discussions, Anyoh hopes to encourage Africans to show their strength through vulnerability, as well as use their voices to challenge each other to be more understanding, accepting, and tolerant of each other and bring value to their community.