267. Go Mom Yourself: Dr. Morgan Cutlip's Guide to Loving Your Kids & Honoring Yourself #FabulousFriends

I'm so excited to welcome Dr. Morgan Cutlip back to the show. Dr. Morgan has a PhD in psychology, and she's a highly sought-after relationship expert. She knows what it feels like to lose yourself in motherhood and she's determined to help mothers navigate it better. Throughout her career, she has helped hundreds of thousands of people worldwide learn how to form and maintain healthy relationships.Dr. Morgan has been featured On Good Morning America, Teen Vogue, The New York Times, Women's Health Magazine, Mops International, Loveology. Her brand new book, Love Your Kids Without Losing Yourself, is available now. In today’s episode, we dive into what the research says about striving to be a perfect parent, and tools for managing the realities of motherhood. I love how Dr. Morgan gives examples from her own life showing how competing priorities and unmanaged expectations can lead us to feel like we’re failing as parents – and uncovering why we put so much pressure on ourselves. She effectively combines her expertise as a psychologist and experience as a mom together in her book to provide practical tips for how to prioritize our time and check in with ourselves – all in order to show up in ways that bring us more peace. Check out Dr. Morgan’s Love Your Kids Without Losing Yourself to dive deeper into supporting yourself in parenthood and in life.We also cover…(01:00) Unpacking Identity Conflicts That All Moms Go Through• Read: Love Your Kids Without Losing Yourself by Dr. Morgan Cutlip• Identity, your needs vs. the needs of everyone and everything else• Risk in losing touch with your own priorities • Tapping into your personal power to dictate your life• How Kelly’s mom influenced her mindset as a mother • Acknowledging and reframing our judgements of other moms • We’re not empty nesters, we’re bird launchers (11:00) Ideals vs. Reality: Setting Healthy Expectations • Studying the the idealization of motherhood• What does it mean (to you) to be a good mom?• Understanding feelings of guilt, shame, and falling short• How Dr. Morgan’s mom influenced her mindset as a mother• How Kelly manages her own expectations in the home• Grieving for your old narrative and accepting the pain of prioritization • Inherent risk in setting impossible standards • Untangling me time vs. work time• Finding untapped power in behavioral change (29:00) Identifying the 5 Components of Intensive Mothering• The Cultural Contradictions of Motherhood by Sharon Hays• Essentialism, believe that other people can dutifully care for your children • Child-centered, know that they can’t be your entire world• Fulfillment, understand that being a mother won’t complete you• Stimulating, stepping down as entertainment director for the family• Challenging, it doesn’t have to be hard to be effective • Decoding a desire to create control over your environment• Removing perfection from parenting • Working with Tina Bryson • Panting positive seeds of personal growth (42:00) Loving Your Kids Without Losing Yourself• Background and meaning of Relationship Attachment Model (RAM)• Intro to the 5 points of connection • Knowing yourself...